Reviews:
June 2014
WE'RE NOT IN A BAND EITHER Pt: 703,907
More later...
WE USUALLY LIKE EVERYTHING ON THIS LABEL
CAJSA SIIK "RELENTLESS DELIGHT" (BIRDS WILL SING FOR YOU)
RELEASED?
Out now.
SOUNDS LIKE? A clever, disjointed and aimless grab bag of great sounds that leave you wondering why there wasn't an adult around to smack it into some kind of shape.
IS IT ANY GOOD? It needs a few verses and a chorus.
WHERE IS IT? www.cajsasiik.com
AMERICANANANA
A GO-GO-GO!

LOLA COLT "VACANT HEARTS"
(BLACK TIGRESS RECORDS)
RELEASED?
2nd June
SOUNDS LIKE?
A little something
that shimmers in black, country
campfire obscenities have a new
soundtrack and Garbage have gone
Americananana. It's all strong
voiced and guitars that run from
jangle to shriek and a sublime
rhythm section that throbs like a
heart using stolen blood. Lola Colt
are a class act and in the bad old
days, when people bought records
instead of emailing each other
photos of their dinner, Lola Colt
would be massively respected
massively rich, massively
successful and, in time, massive. As it is, you have access to "Vacant Hearts" and more besides. Fill your boots is my advice and rape their webshite for more free stuff and live dates.
IS IT ANY GOOD? Highly impressed and we don't impress easy.
WHERE IS IT? www.lolacolt.com
MISSING THE CHEAP AND THE EASY
MT "INCREDIBLE" (RECORD LABEL)
RELEASED?
SOUNDS LIKE?
Verve without the cloyed n clotted over-egging. A drifting, psyche rock kind of thing that threatens to break out into stadium stamping country, but doesn't and that's a good thing, it's good to hear a band who are good enough to believe in their own material sufficiently to give the cheap n easy option a miss. This is a lead track for the upcoming "What We Are" ep that's out in June and we recommend it.
IS IT ANY GOOD? Very, and a couple of friends say that they're dead good live as well.
WHERE IS IT?
MT
BETTER THAN METAL
THE HATE COLONY "RECHECK" (TRONDERCORE RECORDS)
RELEASED? 1st August.
SOUNDS LIKE?
Scandinavian metal.
I was just about to download the
"Navigate" album that this single
comes from and a tiny bit of brain
that's still in working order suggested
that we have a go at the single first.
Just in case, just on the off chance
that another modern metal album
could sound just like all of the other
modern metal albums that we use to
build sheds with, to kill chickens with
and to stuff up each others arses
because we are so fucking bored
with this tedious shit. No one would get cross if The Hate Colony couldn't play, but they can. No one would get snippy if they had no imagination, but they do. Some people get cross because playing to the demographic rather than trying to make the best noise you can is just a waste of time.
IS IT ANY GOOD? The Hate Colony let slip the fact that they're capable of so much more than this safe shite with a wonderful up-gunning of the early Queen guitar sound, some interesting little production tricks like sampling their own 'Satan Gargle' as backing vox and deploying eighties style dancing sythn riffs, for no apparent reason.
WHERE IS IT? The Hate Colony
OLD GEEZER IN RAM JET TECHNOLOGY SHOCKER
THE CRAZY WORLD OF ARTHUR BROWN "ZIM ZAM ZIM" (RECORD LABEL)
RELEASED?
28th July
SOUNDS LIKE? Despite the piles of cutting edge, painfully hip records available, people do tend to like classics, maybe that's why classics are known as classic and why the vast majority would know and prefer "Hey Jude" to that first The Kills demo.








This is also why 99.9% of people know Arthur Brown for the sixties hit "Fire" and not much else. This is a shame because Arthur is a nice bloke, a sincere hippy, yurt living and everything, but he's soooo out there that you just know that anything coherent, let alone commercial is waaaay beyond him. Right? Wrong.  With this "Zim Zam Zim" thing he's rolled Jethro Tull into Toto Coelo and ram jetted it through the thing that the Chemical Brothers didn't do with late T.Rex.
IS IT ANY GOOD?
WHERE IS IT?
www.arthur-brown.com
NOD IS AS GOOD AS WINK TO A BLIND 'GATOR
LEE BAINS III & THE GLORY FIRES "DECONSTRUCTED" (SUB POP RECORDS)
RELEASED?
Out now.
SOUNDS LIKE? Pull up a bar stool, now throw it away, you'll be moving a lot tonight. This lot have mangled some Stones sneer into Aerosmith strut and now sound like The Faces from the swamp., albeit a version of The Faces who have a lot of old British punk singles and Allman Brothers albums This is a top class slab.









The opener, "Company Man" flirts with the idea of stealing the "Black Betty" riff before sliding easily into a chug-a-lug that's ram-packed with everything that makes rock music good, including keyboards that are so lazily arrogant and with every reason that you wonder what happened to those "Tumbling Dice" blokes. There isn't a bad track on "Deconstructed", but there are ten excellent ones and we'll not bother you with track to track reportage, but "Dirt Track" is especially fab and if you have to pick one American rock album this year, pick this one.
IS IT ANY GOOD? They are big and they are clever and the combination of brains and gonzo is a winner, every time.
WHERE IS IT? Lee Baines III & The Glory Fires
THE BRAVERY REQUIREMENT
                                                                           FROM HER EYES "DEMONS" EP (BANDCAMP)
                                                                           RELEASED?
25th August.
                                                                           SOUNDS LIKE? Shit hot hard rock. Dancing
                                                                           keyboards pretending that they're tough enough
                                                                           to hang with the blitzkreig drumming, eye-
                                                                           gouging bass runs and guitars that have more in
                                                                           common with that laser surgery machine that
                                                                           went mental in "Logan's Run". It's just the vocals
                                                                           that are just as good and every bit as bad as
                                                                           every other fucker that wants to do the basso-
                                                                           profundo shrieking that takes the edge off it. I
                                                                           really don't hear the point of having an entire
                                                                           genre and generation of front men who are slaves to a style that makes them all identically fucking awful. From Her Eyes are nifty hard rock band and, for all I know, may have the best lead singer in the whole history of ever, but it's hard to tell when he's just doing the same as everyone else.
IS IT ANY GOOD? Music yes, vocals no. Guys, be brave, branch out.
WHERE IS IT? From Her Eyes
WHEN ELECTRICITY FAILS TO SHOCK
MODEL AEROPLANES "ELECTRICITY"
(FIRST RUN RECORDS)
RELEASED?
Out now.
SOUNDS LIKE? A jazzy and underwhelming U2
channeling a very Average White Band. I knew
nothing about Model Aeroplanes and it's unfair
to go off an a rant on the strength of one single,
so I went through "Whatever Dress Suits You
Better" and "Losing You" as well as this
"Electricity" thing. They're all different songs, but
they all do the U2 vs AWB routine and none of
them are very good. Even worse, none of them
are very bad. On the upside, the lead singer
bloke has hair lovely enough to have Cat Deeley
pulling her own out in a jealous rage. On the downside, he plays with it a lot and that looks silly.
IS IT ANY GOOD? No, but it's not any bad either and it's just depressing that everyone else seems to think so much of them. We used the video that goes with "Losing You" because the "Electricity" one is blocked and if you like one, you'll like t'other.
WHERE IS IT? Model Aeroplanes
WHY JAZZ RUINED THE WORLD FOR EVER
HORSE PARTY "IN BETWEEN" (INTEGRITY RECORDS)
                                                                      RELEASED?
Out now.
                                                                      SOUNDS LIKE? The single from the
                                                                      debut "Cover Your Eyes" album and it's
                                                                      sturm und drang in a confused, jazzy
                                                                      and slightly weedy n reflective way. The
                                                                      interesting thing is that this a strong
                                                                      song that sounds like it's being force
                                                                      fitted into an unsuitably violent
                                                                      arrangement when it'd be a blinding thing
                                                                      recast as a more relaxed, summery,
                                                                      French kind of affair. I love "In Mono", but
                                                                      I understand that Horse Party might not
                                                                      live there forever.
                                                                      IS IT ANY GOOD?
Yes, no, yes, yes it
                                                                      really is, but it could do with some
                                                                      breathing space.
WHERE IS IT? http://horsepartyparty.wix.com/horsepartyhome/
SO, WHAT DO WE NEED SIGOUR ROS FOR?
MOUNTAIN BIRD "THE VISITOR" (UNIVERSAL)
RELEASED? Out now.
SOUNDS LIKE?
Utterly brilliant, you can't help but love the way they've added muscle to prog-rock and lovingly smashed up their own dreamscape with some genuinely stunning, but equally plastique guitar riffs. We're off to grab the EP that this comes from, seriously suggest that you do the same. It's called "Cosmos II".
IS IT ANY GOOD? Hot stuff, have some of it. Hell, have all of it, we've just downloaded one of their old tracks, "Violent Night" and that's excellent as well.
WHERE IS IT? Mountain Bird
                                  GIMME BACK MY CHAINSAW
                                      SONGS OF TREES "RESTLESS ROOTS EP" (SOUNDS
                                      UNIQUE)

                                      RELEASED? Every year.
                                      SOUNDS LIKE? Exactly like an ep called "Restless Roots"
                                      that we received over a year ago. It was hopelessly damp
                                       patch and pathetic and sorry for itself, all whining, cloying
                                       crap then and it hasn't improved. We have no objection to bad
                                       songs or gigs, many of those are the most memorable and
                                       enjoyable of all, but relentlessly mundane, anodyne,
                                       passionless, life-sucking, yet tick box professional
                                       timewasters are the real drag.
                                       IS IT ANY GOOD? No. Keep this lot away from instruments and keep yourself away from this soul-sapping shite.
WHERE IS IT? www.pleasemakeitstop.com
So, it's good, but how can we fuck it up?
See that? That's your guitar, that is