North Pinner has taken
the unprecedented
step of paralysing
operations at the
Krapsong industrial
songwriting facility as the stand off between El Ton L'il Jon and Burn-Ih Taupan escalated further amid claims that a follow up to 'Lion King' was imminent.
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UNPEELED
JUST KEEP PULLING THE TRIGGER UNTIL THE NOISE STOPS
Information delivered fresh
from ye olde internet confirms that five men, all of whom have been shaving, or needing to, for years, have reformed their band, Camper Van Beethoven.
Obviously, the money grubbing coffin-dodgers are making the most of their reunion and have not only set out on a world tour, well, the bits of the world that still have money and electricity, but they have also released a new album. The album is called ''La Costa Perdida'' and it's good, damn good. Who'd a thunk that gentlemen with grey hair could make modern rock music?
KEITH & MICK REPORT
PRODUCT RECALL
YOUNG MEN MAKE OLD SINGLE
Never mind Camping with Beethoven, the new sound in town is late sixties garage trashola being battered to death with spoons n hammers. We refer, of course to the stunning debut single from Origami Horses. They called it''Velvet Rock'' we loved until we died. Do likewise.
SA, DET ER IKKE ALLE CHUNKY BROER OG SELVMORD!
HERRING PUNK SPITS THIS AT TOURISTS
The old divisions are gone. No longer do we goggle in amazement at a black man playing something from the Wagner songbook, no longer do we fidget nervously as the Aeroflot staff demonstrate
the safety exits by lunging
for them, so why would we
be surprised to find a kick
ass garage band in
Norway? BECAUSE IT'S NORWAY
Obviously, but it's hard not
to love the violently
confused young people
called Honningbarna because they are twitching
and frothing in a lovely
stew of old Clash,
decaying Fall and hot wired Quireboys. We invite you to suspend your preconceptions, put your bar person on double time and shake your remaining brain cells from the flapping jokes you knew as ears and get down, fisty-pumping pogo style to the clanked out hormonal ankst of Honningbarna.
THIS IS POP
Most of what is written about 'pop' music is utter drivel and nonsense. This is fair, because most pop music is utter drivel and nonsense. SCOTT WALKER THE COLLECTION
Kicks this prick by messing with pop in a
manic, but measured way. Previously,
you will have heard Scott Walker as
part of The Walker Brothers, but his
solo albums kick harder, soothe
more sweetly and disturb more
deeply than 99% of the current chart.
So, we point you at the imminent
re-release of the first five Scott
Walker solo albums. The collection is
called 'Scott Walker - The Collection
1967-70' and you should listen up.
UK CHART TOP TEN
Top selling singles in the UK this week.
1: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
2: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
3: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
4: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
5: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
6: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
7: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
8: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
9: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
10: 'Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead'
Satan Communications
put your health, safety
and happiness first. Not
money. Definitely not money. This is why we have recalled our
'Maggie Triple Six' model.
All remaining components should
be returned to: Dustbin Of History P.O Box 666